The Problem With Kittens...

By Stacy Mantle

"They say that the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription.  I say, 'Can he name kitten?'.”
- Samuel Butler

Every rescuer has a weakness.  It’s a fact that we are all aware of, one that we all accept.  My weakness happens to be gender interpretation of cats.

It’s the second time now that I’ve taken a cat into the veterinarian’s office to be neutered, only to have it come out spayed. 

It’s the second time now that I’ve contacted said vet to check a cat’s condition.  “No problems with an distended uterus?” I ask, summoning up all of my supposed authority and expertise to demonstrate what a wonderful rescuer I am. 

“Considering that she’s a he, no. No problem with the uterus.”  The vet responds dryly.

This weakness is not something that I’m proud of by any means.  In my defense, however, that “area” is not one that I spend a lot of time around.  And even the best rescuers have to admit, it can be difficult to determine the differences, particularly in a very young kitten.” 

This can lead to a multitude of problems that tend to get more and more complex as the animal progresses into adulthood.  Of course, to begin with, I name the animal based on what I think its sex is.  For example, Una, Ma’at, Baby.  The list goes on.  This is the name that they answer too, understand, and bond with.  Therefore, it’s very unlikely that their name will be changed once I find out for sure what the sex is, and this of course,  can lead to problems later on in life.

When I first noticed this particular weakness of mine, I didn’t think it would matter all that much.  After all, I was fairly confident that the kittens weren’t really aware of the gender that was commonly associated with their name.  Now I’m not so sure.  Since animals get picked on just like any others, it’s got to be hard on them to have a female name if they are males.  I’ve seen the drastic effects more recently in my own household. 

If you’re a male cat and you have a female name, the results can be bad.  When a supposedly female cat begin spraying, it’s difficult to determine the cause.  Now, that is not to say that female cats are incapable of spraying, just that they tend to do it a lot more if they are really male cats.  Their fights are a little more intense, and once we finally establish their true gender, they seem to have to defend themselves a lot more. Of course, there is the other option as well…

Some of them move into “alternative” modes of handling the situation.  For example, Baby – although he is a male cat – remains a female in his own eyes.  He loves to be brushed, he hops like a rabbit, and he runs away from the other bigger, stronger, scarier cats.  He would rather live by the creed, “he who fights and runs away, can run away again one day”.   Basically, he’s a female cat trapped in a male’s body.

But, I have to hold onto the hope that they will overcome their little “name challenges” and grow into the fine cats that I know they can become!  Even the Bard himself states, ‘What’s in a name?  A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, and that is the truth to the matter.  Because when it comes right down to it, it’s not what you name a cat, it’s how you treat a cat, and that is all a part of “conquering the food chain.”

Other Stories:  Herding Cats, Sleeping With the Enemy,A Fish Tale, Do Animals Have Souls, The Problem With Kittens, Counterproductive Behavior in Dogs, Counterproductive Behavior in Cats, Cody is My Sister's Dog, Diary of A Cog
 

About the Author

Stacy Mantle is a freelance writer who currently resides in the southwestern deserts of Arizona with a number of cats, a coyote/wolf hybrid, and a very understanding husband. Her writing has appeared in publications such as The Arabian Horse Times, Today’s AZ Woman, and Pets Illustrated. Many of her stories and articles have been translated into several languages, and now reach an international audience. Quickly becoming known as "…the Erma Bombeck of animals", her writing has skyrocketed to new heights as she records the stories of those she loves, inspiring the reader to learn why we have all come to love the animals we share our lives with. She is the author of Conquering the Food Chain: Living Amongst Animals (Without Becoming One), which is available in Barnes & Noble bookstores nationwide, as well as online at www.bn.com or www.amazon.com.