"Once Upon A Midnight Dreary..."

By Stacy Mantle

With apologies to Mr. Edgar Allen Poe. 

Once upon a late night dreary, while watching TV, weak and weary,
Surfing through unusual, and violent TV shows,
While we nodded, nearly napping, suddenly, there came a tapping,
As of someone rapping, rapping at our small cat door.
"Tis some stray, " I muttered softly, "Tapping at our small cat door – Only this, and nothing more…"

Ah, distinctly I recall - it was during the late fall,
And each feral cat we have, scrambled in across the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - frightened of the constant slapping
of the feral cat a tapping – some sign of mind-crazed tapping -
For the horrid sound of door flap as it slammed against the door
Even Coyote stopped his yapping, quickly silent evermore...

And the sad consistent tapping of the constant, steady rapping
Thrilled me - filled me with a terror, that I'd never felt before;
So that now to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some stray cat wanting entrance at the path of my cat door -
Some late stray cat wanting entrance at the path of my cat door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my heart grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Tom,' said I, `or Queen, your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was watching, and suddenly you came rapping,
And so loud you came a tapping, rapping at my small cat door,
That I ran to see you, scared to death - I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there seeing,
Doubting, fearful dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And no words were ever spoken, only hisses in the wind,
Brave, I hissed into the darkness, and an echo hiss returned...
Merely this and nothing more...

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely, there is a cat at my small door;
Let me see what type he is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis a cat and nothing more!'

Suddenly, I flung the flap, when, with many a scattering yap,
There stepped a big black cat of my neighbors house next door!
Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched before my small cat door –
Sitting on the dirt before me, just outside my small cat door -
Sat, and stared, and nothing more.

Then the black cat, sitting lonely near the small cat door, spoke only,
Just one word, as if his soul in that single word did pour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a whisker did he flutter -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Many cats have been before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the cat hissed, `Nevermore!'

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the cat whose fiery eyes now burned through my small cat door;
This and more I sat divining, with my pets gathered behind me,
glancing through the small cat door that the flash-light gloated o'er,
But whose clear plastic flap with the flash-light gloating o'er,
He shall tap, ah, nevermore!

`Stray cat!' said I, feral cat! - Feline still, if pet or stray! -
Whether tempter sent, or tempest tossed thee here at my cat door,
Desolate yet still undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
At this home by pets we’re stunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Are you - are you homeless? - Tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the feline, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, pet or feral!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into thy home - go on through the neighbor’s door!
Do not bully my poor felines, and recognize that I hath spoken!
Leave my frightened pets unbroken! – disappear from my cat door!
Take thy tail from out my heart, and stop rapping at my door!'
Quoth the feline, `Nevermore.'

And the feline, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
Terrorizing all my kittens just outside my small cat door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a tom cat's that is dreaming,
And the flash-light o'er him streaming throws his fur upon the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Other Stories: Feral Cat Day, Computer Guide for Cat Lovers, Just Wait 'Till You Have Children of Your Own, Diary of A Cog, How To Pill A Cat, Herding Cats, Sleeping With the Enemy, A Fish Tale, Do Animals Have Souls, The Problem With Kittens, Counterproductive Behavior in Dogs, Counterproductive Behavior in Cats, Cody is My Sister's Dog, Diary of A Cog
 
About the Author

Stacy Mantle is a freelance writer who currently resides in the southwestern deserts of Arizona with a number of cats, a coyote/wolf hybrid, and a very understanding husband. Her writing has appeared in publications such as The Arabian Horse Times, Today’s AZ Woman, and Pets Illustrated. Many of her stories and articles have been translated into several languages, and now reach an international audience. Quickly becoming known as "…the Erma Bombeck of animals", her writing has skyrocketed to new heights as she records the stories of those she loves, inspiring the reader to learn why we have all come to love the animals we share our lives with. She is the author of Conquering the Food Chain: Living Amongst Animals (Without Becoming One), which is available in Barnes & Noble bookstores nationwide, as well as online at www.bn.com or www.amazon.com.